Therapy
by Hiei's Cute Girl
Summary: If I told you, I would have to kill you. One-shot, Itachi/Sakura.


**Therapy**

**Summary: If I told you, I would have to kill you. One-shot, Itachi/Sakura.**

Sakura huffed, knocking on the dreaded, dark oak door before her with hesitant pounds. She wasn't exactly thrilled with the whole idea of going to man she did not know and pouring out her feelings to him, but then, most SANE people would be pretty uncomfortable with the situation too.

However, after nearly strangling Naruto in a public parking lot right in front of THE WHOLE WORLD, she guessed that it was pretty much natural for her parents to send her here. That, of course, didn't mean she had to go along with it willingly. She'd come all the way here kicking and screaming, but her frail mother seemed to have more strength in her than she seemed to. Not even Ino could haul her the way her mother had, even when she was in one of her shopping frenzies, and that told a **lot**.

She thought perhaps she could go to the ice-cream vender two blocks down the road to pass the time, but when she looked over her shoulder she saw her father at the entrance of the building, sporting a white toothed smile, and his hands on his belt in a silent threat. _I'll whip you just like I used to when you were ten years younger and refused to eat your vegetables, _his smug eyes told her, and Sakura knocked a little bit harder than necessary, creating a spider web of cracks on the poor door.

She knew that if she didn't do as she'd been told, he'd act on his threat with ten times the strength that he'd used when she'd been young. He joked with her like a normal father would, but when it came to discipline, he ruled with an iron hand. She had no doubt that if she pushed him, he'd even do it here, in public, for everyone to witness.

Being spanked with your father's belt in front of everybody was just what she needed after she had strangled Naruto on national television. Real slick, Haruno.

She sighed, and turned back to the door. She knocked two more times before she heard it buzz as a soft, velvety voice spoke from behind it. "Come in," those two words made her toes curl in pleasure. She opened the door with care, and closed it behind her before looking around.

The sight of the supposed doctor had her insides melting. Doctors weren't supposed to be _this_ hot!

The man had the hair the color of a raven, eyes of an even darker shade, when light hit them in a certain way, they almost looked red, and a pale complexion. He was short, compared to her father, but she guessed that she would only reach his chin if she stood side by side with this man.

His eyes held a certain glint in them; as if he knew something you didn't and was mentally laughing at your ignorance. His hair, probably softer than her own even after a large amount of conditioner, was long and held in a paper thin tie at the nape of his neck. He had two scars running down from below his eyes to the middle of his cheek, making her wonder if how the hell he'd gotten them. His body was lithe but built to perfection; her hands tingled with the urge to trace his firm chest and noticeable abs. Her inner self stood beside her, drooling like a moronic dog and whooping like a maniac.

_**Let's rape him and blame it on your insanity when people ask! **_She told her, going over to loop her arms around his neck, something the impossibly gorgeous man did not feel. _**Hello, handsome, what's your name?**_

Both were surprised when he smiled and put his chin on his hand as he leaned forward on his desk. "Hello, beautiful, my name is Uchiha Itachi, and I am your therapist."

Inner Sakura died and went to heaven. Outer Sakura ignored her with the ease of someone that has been doing it for a long time. "I'm Haruno Sakura, sir, and I was forced to come here."

His lips twitched and he gestured toward the comfy looking sofa before his dark desk. Sakura took the hint and sat down; the fluffy cushion beneath her sank under her weight. She gave a pleasured sigh as Inner Sakura plopped down next to her, not even making a crease on the cold, black leather.

_**We've GOT to get ourselves one of these! **_Inner Sakura said, patting the couch almost lovingly. Outer Sakura mentally agreed with a smile and a cheer.

"I've heard that one before," he told her conversationally. "What exactly did you do to upset your parents?"

"Strangled a friend on national television," she told him bluntly, watching his eyes widen as he choked on the coffee he'd been drinking with amusement. She loved that kind of reaction, it was _hilarious_.

He instantly composed himself, putting the mug down, and Inner Sakura applauded his ability to do that so quickly. "Is that your father I see outside… with his belt in his hands?"

The girl nodded nonchalantly, looking over her shoulder as her father waved at her cheerfully, belt in hand. She waved back, and then looked at the man before her, "It's a safety measure, you know, kind of like a human barricade. He's declared that spot no man's land," she said, lying as easily as she breathed.

A delicate eyebrow was raised her way. "Meaning?"

"If I come out or make a break for it before these thirty minutes are over, he'll shoot me with his invisible gun," Sakura smiled as Itachi stared at her openly.

"Are you sure it's me you should be talking to?" he asked, his lips twitching again, Sakura supposed he was afraid to smile at her, in case she lunged at him.

She laughed openly, surprising him slightly. "You don't know how many times people have told me that," she explained between giggles.

"And how do you feel about that?" he asked, and Inner Sakura rolled her eyes at his unoriginality.

_**You'd think someone as good looking as him could come up with something less cliché**__. _Outer Sakura couldn't help but agree.

"If I told you, I would have to kill you," she managed to keep a straight face as she told him this.

He blinked slowly, as if trying to process that piece of information, and Inner Sakura nodded sagely, brandishing her pointer finger like a weapon as she made a slicing motion against her neck. _**Bye, bye, handsome, **_she giggled.

Itachi then grinned, finally catching on. "I see, but where would you hide my body and what would you tell your father if he wanted to speak with me?"

The girl kept her composure and answered quickly, unable to hide the slight smile that almost bloomed on her face. "In the ventilation system of course, but I would only break your neck, since too much blood would be messy. As for my dad, I would tell him you were too busy trying to process everything and needed time to think."

"What about my huge window? How would you do it without your father seeing you?" he wanted to know.

"Simple! I would close it right about now, in a way that seemed like you asked me to. Plus, the curtains are black, and made of thick wool…" She responded with a ferocious grin, one he returned good naturedly.

"What do you like to do?" he asked casually, switching topics.

"I like to help people," Sakura replied curtly, studying her nails with a critical eye.

"Help them do what?"

_**When you help others, you can't help helping yourself! **_Her Inner quoted Avenue Q in a sing-song voice, leaning against Sakura's shoulder absentmindedly as she watched Itachi with half lidded eyes.

Her smile was absolutely frightening, and Itachi instantly knew any answer she would give him would be a complete and total lie. He quickly changed tactics.

"I would think people would rather help themselves than aid others. Don't you have time to think of yourself?" He was genuinely curious, but the teeth she flashed him with were still bared, though her smile was more demure.

"No, I don't. I'm Jesus," he'd fallen straight into that one, he had to admit.

The young therapist laughed, a deep sound that made Inner Sakura purr like a kitten, sounding like a broken motor. Sakura smiled in a friendly manner, realizing that she was having fun.

"I've never thought of it that way," he said with a mild smirk, reminding her of Sasuke for a moment. "Did you really strangle a friend on television?"

The girl nodded, being solemn for the first time since she'd come in. "Don't you watch the news? They were taking a small documentary on the parking lot of the new mall on the west of Konoha when Naruto said something that struck a nerve, and so I strangled him. They used five huge security guys to get me off of him, and four more to get me to stay off. Nine fit, strong, three times my size security guys had to hold me still. Of course they would tape that! Because my parents saw it, they decided I was dangerous to society and sent me here to you, something rather unnecessary, I think." She confided to him, looking very sincere.

Itachi's eyes widened as he recalled something his brother had told him that morning at breakfast.

"_It was hilarious!" Sasuke said, trying to speak while laughing and failing miserably, "A girl, at least three times smaller than them, wriggling like a worm and dragging them half way across the parking lot to try to jump on the coughing Naruto. I have never seen anything more comical than that in years!" _

It had been a while since Sasuke had openly laughed on the dinner table before his entire family of four, but when he'd been telling that story, the poor boy was laughing so hard he fell out of his chair and landed on the wooden floor with a hard thump.

He leaned against his hand, his left one toying with the spoon in his coffee, "Have you had any episodes like this before?"

The girl looked up at him with a seriousness he was sure was fake, "Yes, involving a peanut, the number fifteen, and a yellow blue rubber ducky."

He was unable to tell whether she was lying or not.

Itachi coughed into his hand and sat up straight, "Have these instances happened often?"

Sakura hummed thoughtfully before shaking her head, "Only once every blue moon!"

He nodded regally, then stroked his chin in thought, "Of course, yesterday's had an extremely blue-ish shade if I recall."

The girl returned his gesture in kind, hiding a grin behind her hand as she covered her mouth with it. "I thought so too, but Sasuke said I was blind to see it like that."

"Brilliant minds think alike, darling," his wolfish smirk had her swooning. Both other and inner selves tried hard not to drool.

Inner Sakura strutted up to him seductively, and sprawled herself un-ceremonially on his lap, _**Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn. **_

Outer Sakura stifled a laugh at the sight.

Itachi wondered why she was looking over his left shoulder like that.

She looked around his office while Inner Sakura continued to coo like a maiden in love. The office was quite large, but the massive amounts of decoration and furniture made it seem much smaller. Her therapist was obviously quite rich. This inevitably made her wonder exactly what her parents were paying him to give her thirty minutes of his time.

The room as whole had a deep, dark pattern of blues, purples, blacks and reds. Even so, the office managed to look homely and cozy despite the gothic topic of color and furniture. The floor was covered with a fuzzy, dark purple carpet that she was just dying to spread her toes on, and the roof was a deep crimson with golden-black clouds, a humongous fan, and some air conditioning vents above her head. If that huge fan fell on her, Sakura had no doubt it could kill her.

Beside the dark oak door, to its left, stood a tall coat hanger made of some mighty heavy looking wood with six arms for hanging coats, hats, and purses. A small dresser of artistic and rather attention grabbing designs was beside the hanger, looking homely with a lit futuristic lamp and a comically placed eight ball at its side.

Farther to the left stood a large book case, the books all placed in alphabetical order and some encyclopedias organized by size. There were a couple of books on top, which she was able to decipher as 'the extensive knowledgeable book of all of the crazies and whack jobs', the real title even longer than her invented one, and the author's name a bit too small for her to read.

Her gaze kept moving, passing the large window, and landing on Itachi's desk, which was the very example of neatness. The wide desk was arranged in an artful way, pens placed parallel to one another, a small laptop –not on- to the right, and a yellow notebook before her therapist. His mug was a deep red color with seven black crows flying around it. On the top left corner of his desk sat a proud, preserved weasel sitting on his furry haunches, sniffing the air in a haughty manner. Inner Sakura giggled as she ran a finger through its fur, though none of its hairs reacted to her touch. _**Figures…**_she snorted at the irony of the tiny animal resting smugly on his desk. A small, net cup sat with an array of colored pencils, markers, mechanical pencils, and bright pens. All arranged by the color of the rainbow.

Sakura giggled slightly and moved on.

Another door, probably a bathroom, faced her; it was decorated artistically, with a carved drawing of a bunch of crows flying among clouds with a slight hue of red in them. The doorknob was a pale, orange-gold color that went well with the crimson shade of the clouds and the slightly reddish tint of the door. Beside it sat a small table of a curious design with a gothic styled lamp, a stack of bright yellow sticky notes, a red leather planner, and a round, black cordless phone.

On the wall to the right was a painting of a crimson colored sky, with black clouds and a vast, white floor. Beside the clouds and the floor, only a large, lonely cross in the middle of the large, white plain stood erect and proud in the empty land, as if ready to crucify any who dare to defile that cold, untouched land. Sakura shuddered and decided Itachi was in need of medical assistance.

_**Not that we're ones to talk, **_her inner self added absently, tracing the cross with one long, pale finger, but Sakura ignored her completely, head craning to look back at the door she came in through.

When she turned back to her therapist, she found him standing before her, a fist on his hips, one eye brow raised, and an amused smirk playing with his pale lips. "Done?" his eyes sparkled, and beside her, Inner Sakura squealed and promptly turned to mush.

She returned the grin, trying not to laugh at the giggling pile of goo at her side, "Maybe," she responded, imitating one of the villains in her favorite Austin Powers movie.

Itachi sat down next to her, swinging an arm behind her to rest it on the head of the couch behind her. She gulped at the sight of those tone muscled under his black, sleeveless shirt, and the hairless complexion of this man. He leaned toward her, warm breath caressing her ears as he pretended to tell her a secret. His scent wafted into her nose, and Sakura couldn't stop the shiver that ran up her spine at the sniff of sandalwood and a positively masculine scent filling her senses. GOD, he smelled good.

"Shagadelic, baby, yeah…" he said so softly Sakura thought she'd imagined him saying it. Instantly, she laughed, winking at him. Itachi smirked, looking very sexy with his bedroom eyes.

She smiled evilly at him, and winked again, whispering her own secret against his pale lips, "Oh, beehave." She mimicked the star of the movie perfectly, and Itachi's eyes twinkled again. Inner Sakura, who had just barely regained her composure, melted all over again.

Sakura took a deep whiff of air surreptitiously, inhaling his absolutely breath taking, dominant scent with a sigh. Right then and there, all she wanted to do was bring her hands to her face and giggle like a school girl.

Itachi lent back, and Inner Sakura bounced back like a ball, shouting at him and demanding he lean in again. Sakura's face did not betray her sympathy toward her inner's thoughts, and simply watched Itachi stand –his pants were too tight, she noticed with glee- and walk back to his desk, his eyes dancing with mischief. She briefly wondered what he was laughing at with his eyes, but dismissed it quickly.

He glanced at a small, black box on his desk and his face turned to one of utter disappointment. "Looks like we're going to have to cut this lovely get-together short soon. We only have five more minutes left." If it was possible, Uchiha Itachi actually pouted, eyes glinting. If it was possible, Inner Sakura seemed to liquefy even more than before.

Sakura returned the pout, sticking out her bottom lip cutely. "Oh poo, how dreadful!" Itachi decided to ignore the mocking timbre in her words.

He smiled, "Did you do anything else interesting this week, Sakura?"

Inner Sakura actually screamed like a dying cat and proclaimed that she was the luckiest woman in the world. The way he said her name had been one of the sexiest, most seductive thing she'd ever heard in her life.

"If you call setting traps on your teacher, taking a taxi driven by a cat, and trapping a notorious politician with a banana as bait in a box something relatively uneventful, I think you can say that my week was pretty boring this time." Again, Itachi was unsure if she was lying or not.

_**Spinspinspinspinspin! **_Her inner repeated childishly, rolling on the ground. _**Call my name and I shall disappear, who am I?**_

"Have you always been like this?" he asked in good humor, but she saw him pick up a bright pink pen and scribble something on his yellow paged notebook. She smiled at his way of working with things.

"Since the moment I can remember," she replied stoically.

_**Silence! Silence! **_Inner chanted furiously, grinning like the Cheshire Cat and floating in mid-air. _**Trouble, trouble, don't incite the queen's temper, or you'll be left dead among the rubble!**_

Itachi observed the way Sakura seemed to avoid looking at a spot to his right, and wrote it down without looking at what he was writing. Inner Sakura looked up at her host, a frown on her lips. _**Trusting doctors is not good, not good… dangerdangerdanger… **_

Admitting that she was insane was out of the question, so she placed the blame on her bolder personality who took the title of whacko as if it was something to be proud of and parade around with. Making another personality is the brain's defense against onslaught it could not handle. Naturally, being bullied for almost ten years by her peers had her making a split persona, even when Naruto came to her rescue, she never banished her other self to a prison in her mind. They were separate entities, but still one being.

_**Contradiction, contradiction, makes no sense, it's our addiction.**_ She sang jovially, dancing behind Itachi madly. _**We love, we love being a contradiction.**_

The little black box rang, and Sakura finally met Itachi's eyes. "What's the analysis, doctor?"

He grinned, "What do you think of magicians?"

"They are very real, they can do voodoo, and my next door neighbor's cat is psychic," she responded easily with a perfect mask of indifference, but the observant doctor saw the right side of her lip twitch.

"My best friend's dog can fly," he countered with an obnoxious smirk that made her want to throw her right shoe at his head.

"Oh yeah?" she raised an eyebrow in challenge and rose to meet his defiant stare. "My neighbor's pet iguana, Ignacio, has X-ray vision, likes to reverse street signs, and stole my awesome, super special, Power Rangers wannabe left boot once."

He blinked at the unexpected answer, and then laughed. He stood, and came forward; walking around his desk towards her and brandishing his pink pen like a King might hold a sword when knighting someone. He patted each of her shoulders, clearing his throat, he spoke regally. "I dub thee…" she waited for his judgment with a defiant stare, "in need of coming to me twice a week from now on."

She mimicked his blatant staring and blinking, completely taken by surprise with his response. "What?"

He leaned down, coming face to face with her, flashing white teeth smugly. "You are now entitled to come here twice a week, Monday evenings and Saturday mornings, for therapy sessions." His smile was unsettling, and Inner Sakura sat beside her host and stared at the handsome Itachi, mouthing off like a well aged sailor.

"But why?" her question, although deserving in answer, Itachi seemed to be intent on completely ignoring its existence.

"Now scat, I have another patient," he rose, but when she refused to move from her spot, frozen, on the couch, he sighed. "What you have is something I haven't seen in a while, and I would like to study you more."

Her fury was quite evident in her emerald orbs as she stood, her inner right behind her. "What am I? Some sort of lab rat?"

He nodded nonchalantly, waving with his hand (_shooshooshooshoo_) and looking into her eyes as he sat down on his large chair again, "Exactly, now out, my little specimen, I have more experiments to conduct."

For some reason, his response calmed her down, and she grinned in a feral manner at him. "I won't stay still on the examination table like a good little girl, though," she said, planting both hands on his desk.

"Of course not. Where's the fun in that?"

As she walked out, Sakura smiled to herself. Maybe therapy wasn't such a bad idea after all.

**The End****.**

**Nine pages of pure nonsense, I need a life. (Anything Inner Sakura sang was just mindless babble I made up, pay no mind to it. Except the quote from Avenue Q, of course.) **


End file.
